Self-help writers can add every cliché in the book to assist women from getting through life after divorce, yet none of these things can capture the grim reality of it all. Yes, divorce is terrible. Yes, it truly and deeply hurts. Finally, yes, it will always leave a mark.
Continuing life is the only real option, and a great article on life after divorce can highlight some of the ways this can be realistically accomplished. There are ways to look at the past in a healthy and positive way, and not in a way that derives from darkness and regret.
Have Regrets, it’s Okay
The adage of having no regrets is a little bit suspicious. There isn’t a single person in the world who has no regrets if they really try to think about it. It is fine to have regrets. Regrets acknowledge mistakes. How many people say they have no regrets because everything they have done has shaped who they are? Sure, it is an admirable stance. But, it also forgets that these actions have consequences and these same non-regrets are scenarios that can teach. Regretting a marriage is okay, but internalize that in an unhealthy way is not.
Regrets allow people to look at what they did and apply it to future decisions. Regretting is acknowledging a mistake somewhere down the line. Every mistake is a chance to do right, and so Is every regret.
One New Thing at a Time
Another popular point in life after divorce is to try something new. Note how “something” is singular. Do not try many things. Do not try something completely alien, necessarily. Try one modestly new thing and stick with it for a bit. It should be something that the ex never did or even wanted to do. It should not be too difficult but it should take some time.
The above two pieces work hand-in-hand. Having regrets is part of the process, and it is healthy. Trying new things is fun if it isn’t totally overwhelming. These are some smart ways to step out of the shadow of divorce and have a healthy life.